scenes.moments.life.living

Posts tagged ‘love’

Sweet Life

My tears fell for this…

 

 

My husband is an Engineer by profession, I love him for his steady nature, and I love the warm feeling when I lean against his broad shoulders.

Three years of courtship and now, two years into marriage, I would have to admit, that I am getting tired of it. The reasons of me loving him before, has now transformed into the cause of all my restlessness.

I am a sentimental woman and extremely sensitive when it comes to a relationship and my feelings, I yearn for the romantic moments, like a little girl yearning for candy. My husband, is my complete opposite, his lack of sensitivity, and the inability of bringing romantic moments into our marriage has disheartened me about love.

One day, I finally decided to tell him my decision, that I wanted a divorce.

“Why?” he asked, shocked. “I am tired, there are no reasons for everything in the world!” I answered. He kept silent the whole night, seems to be in deep thought with a lighted cigarette at all times. My feeling of disappointment only increased, here was a man who can’t even express his predicament, what else can I hope from him? And finally he asked me:” What can I do to change your mind?”

Somebody said it right, it’s hard to change a person’s personality, and I guess, I have started losing faith in him. Looking deep into his eyes I slowly answered : “Here is the question, if you can answer and convince my heart, I will change my mind, Let’s say, I want a flower located on the face of a mountain cliff, and we both are sure that picking the flower will cause your death, will you do it for me?” He said :” I will give you your answer tomorrow….” My hopes just sank by listening to his response.

I woke up the next morning to find him gone, and saw a piece of paper with his scratchy handwriting, underneath a milk glass, on the dining table near the front door, that goes…. My dear, “I would not pick that flower for you, but please allow me to explain the reasons further..” This first line was already breaking my heart. I continued reading.

“When you use the computer you always mess up the Software programs, and you cry in front of the screen, I have to save my fingers so that I can help to restore the programs. You always leave the house keys behind, thus I have to save my legs to rush home to open the door for you. You love traveling but always lose your way in a new city, I have to save my eyes to show you the way. You always have the cramps whenever your “good friend” approaches every month, I have to save my palms so that I can calm the cramps in your tummy.

You like to stay indoors, and I worry that you will be infected by infantile autism. I have to save my mouth to tell you jokes and stories to cure your boredom. You always stare at the computer, and that will do nothing good for your eyes, I have to save my eyes so that when we grow old, I can help to clip your nails, and help to remove those annoying white hairs. So I can also hold your hand while strolling down the beach, as you enjoy the sunshine and the beautiful sand… and tell you the color of flowers, just like the color of the glow on your young face… Thus, my dear, unless I am sure that there is someone who loves you more than I do… I could not pick that flower yet, and die.. ”

My tears fell on the letter, and blurred the ink of his handwriting… and as I continue on reading… “Now, that you have finished reading my answer, if you are satisfied, please open the front door for I am standing outside bringing your favorite bread and fresh milk… I rush to pull open the door, and saw his anxious face, clutching tightly with his hands, the milk bottle and loaf of bread….

Now I am very sure that no one will ever love me as much as he does, and I have decided to leave the flower alone…

MORAL LESSON: That’s life, and love. When one is surrounded by love, the feeling of excitement fades away, and one tends to ignore the true love that lies in between the peace and dullness.

Love shows up in all forms, even very small and cheeky forms, it has never been a model, it could be the most dull and boring form.. . flowers, and romantic moments are only used and appear on the surface of the relationship. Under all this, the pillar of true love stands… and that’s our life… Love, not words win arguments.

 

Got this from my FB

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For [J]

For because I am missing you…

A Year Without Rain

Oooooh
Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
My world is an empty place

Like I’ve been wondering the desert
For a thousand days
Don’t know if it’s a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind
Can’t you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that’s running dry
Catch me I’m falling

It’s like the ground is crumbling underneath my feet
(Won’t you save me)
There’s gonna be a monsoon
When you get back to me

Oh, baby

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

So let this drought come to an end
And make this desert flower again
I’m so glad you found me
Stick around me
Baby, baby, baby, oh
It’s a world of wonder with you in my life
So hurry, baby
Don’t waste no more time
And I need you here
I can’t explain
But day without you
is like a year without rain
Ooh

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

Could he be…the ONE?

We all heard of stories of finding one’s perfect match. Most often than not, we are envious from those stories and wanting is a mixture of emotions. On the other hand there are stories of hoping, of tireless waiting or losing hope to which our sympathy pours complete with morale boosting kind words. I am writing now because I can’t contain it, I am starting to like someone.

[J] born 5 years and 5 days ahead of me under the same stubborn star. A self made man. Grounded and emotionally stable. From the past days that we’ve been exchanging SMS and calls, we both realized that being born under the same star makes most aspects of our lives the same, is that good or bad? Neither of us can tell.

From one conversation we found out that we share the same reasons on why we stay single for the longest time and how we promised ourselves that whenever the “one” comes along, we will do our best to make it the “last”. I can’t help but assume and hope, [J] is the reason why I keep on checking my phone for new SMS or why I wanted to go home earlier (than usual) these days because that’s the time we would catch up on the day that just passed.

Now am scared to move forward, to loosen up my guards and to slowly give in to this “blissful emotion”. A friend of mine who serves as my confidante told me that what I am trying to do is wrong because I am trying to alter nature’s course for selfish reason – I don’t want to fall and be hurt at the end.

I look forward to sharing more colourful stories of me and [J]. Fingers crossed, heart beating fast, world’s of various shades and colors…could [J] be the ONE for ME?

Emotion…less

Over the past days I was being the “consoling” party of my friends, 2 of them, problem? Love, loving, relationship and the intertwined emotions attached to it. Now that was tricky, because of all people among our roster of friends, I was the one they were after and lo and behold I will find myself sitting beside my friend (one after the other) giving each of them advises on how they will handle things. Of all people, I was the one giving advise…yes! ME!

Case #1 The Mistress who doesn’t want to be Kerida anymore

He is a good friend of mine and last time I heard of him was he broke up with his guy who happen to be in a relationship with a girl with a kid…now 2 kids. He told himself that he doesn’t want to be a kerida again and when he found “the one” he will make sure that “the one” will be his last. Confident and assured I must say. But life’s has its own way of doing things because when he found “the one” he learned that “the one” is with “another one”, a gay guy at that. And history is now repeating itself but this time I can feel that it is more painful. His “the one” keeps on seeing him on weekdays and seeing “the other one” on weekends, WOW perfect kerida at legal wife set-up! And the sad thing is, love hit my friend so bad making him eat his words (above).

Together with my favourite hand crafted hot beverage and his “the one’s” favourite hand crafted beverage, we found ourselves chatting over this thing last Tuesday night. All I managed to say to him was to “love himself more” and finally have s*x with “the one” (malay nyo deal breaker ang boner ni “the one” edi instant fubu na diba!) because obviously, his “the one” loves “the other one” more simply because he cant let go of his relationship in favour of my friend. Moreover, I told my friend that he should confront “the one” because he will just prolong his agony and his being kerida if he will continue to go out, go home, hug, kiss, do sweet nothings with this guy who I think will not reciprocate.

Then I realized, heck! why was giving such advise eh kung ako ang nasa sitwasyon, I think I will do everything to get this guy. Just an update, my friend failed the s*x attempt last night and now he is uber disturbed. Towards the long weekend, we will just hit the road and go out of town for him to forget that his “the one” is on the loving arms and other body parts of “the other one”.

Case #2 The Mistress who was found by the other Mistress with a new born baby

Another good friend of mine who is currently a mistress of someone was found by this other mistress who happen to just gave birth to a child (not aware of the gender). Last week when she got a strange SMS from the “other mistress”, she decided to engage in a “text war: bitchesa vs bitchesa with the baby”. Unfortunately things became a little bit violent this time because my friend’s “special someone” (aside from the other guy) which we call “avatar” decided to meet the mistress with the baby with the objective of finding out whether the mistress’ declarations are true, including the baby. Apparently they are all nothing but the truth. As I write now, I think “avatar” is still being held captive by the mistress with a kid “brads” (fraternity related I think) getting all his possessions (car, money etc) excluding his phone and the last thing that I heard was that mistress with a baby threatened my friend that they will throw avatar somewhere because avatar was pakialamero.

The demand here is very simple; mistress with the baby wanted my friend to let go of “the guy” unfortunately my friend is in love with him thus letting him go is not that easy. “Very typical, soap operatic themed scenes”, that’s what I managed to say after hearing the story and here’s my advise: tell mistress with the baby that he can have “the guy” as long as she wants so long that she will never be bugged again. Moreover, my friend will keep the condo, the allowances and other benefits she’s currently enjoying and also “the guy” can still visit my friend if he wants to. At the end of the day, my friend still has her avatar, remember? In that equation, I think everybody will be happy and contented with what each other have.

And “the guy’? he’s currently in the US together with the legitimate family. Ang saya!

To my surprise her comments were: “how can you make things seem easier and how can you be so emotionless”.

Same shit, different dog

I guess I am paying more than normal attention to this person lately. He told me that we met two years ago but seriously I can’t remember so we resulted to catching up back to basic details and to my surprise, during the getting-to-know course, I can say that he has the potential to be “him”. At such an early stage I know and feel that he’s the one who can keep me grounded. Things went by fast and before I know it, I am convinced that I am falling for him… until today.

Over BBM, I noticed that his status changes when I change mine and his new status is a response to my change of status. Until I changed my status and he changed his but his status is not a response to mine and I cant change my status because it says “For the unending grace, Lord, Thank You” which is related to the recent blessing that I received just this afternoon from work.

BBM
Him: (new status) Let’s be thankful…I don’t want to rush things…
Me: I noticed that we have been changing status quite frequent today…in response to your status “ I am afraid but thankful, walk with me”
Him: Yeah, but that’s not for you, if its for you, I will tell you directly…don’t get me wrong
Me: Oops sorry  but thanks for being upfront

I told the story to a friend and I asked him if I have to put a stop to this, I seem pretty excited about things lately and its because of “him” so why lose the momentum and enthusiasm. He advised me to instead ask him where I stand and so I did and…

Him: Were friends.

There you go. All hopes vanished to thin air; there goes my energy going down the drain. Same story, different guy.

Why is finding the right one so hard. One friend told “masyado mo kasi mahal ang trabaho mo”, I immediately corrected him saying that the reason why I devote too much time and energy to my job is that because I do not have that special someone to spend the rest of my time with. A diversion that is. I always tell this to everyone that I am building up something with, “I am hoping to find someone whom I could spend more time with, who could break the home-work-home routine of my life”.

At this point in time I am tired already, at some point I am envious of those people who may not be in the same shoe as mine (career wise, money wise, family wise) but at the end of the day, they’re guaranteed that they have someone who could share how they are, how the day went, how are things going with them etc.

I am not whining. I am just sad. I maybe frustrated. I am sure I am sad.

And I Wished for Love

Sun, Sand, Pristine Waters…Boracay

I am writing this blog while enjoying the view, the works of this magnificent place that a lot of people love and I guess I might consider frequenting this place than out of the country. I loved how it felt but I failed to achieve solitude since part of me is still working.

We had dinner last night at Discovery Shores and on my way up to where the Shangri-La van was waiting I saw the “wish tablet” — a huge stone where you will write, using a brush, your wish. At that time there were few written but I cant recognize as it was in Korean and Mandarin (a friend told me).

As I took my turn, I seriously don’t know what to write and then all of a sudden, when i pointed the brush to the stone, I wrote “Love”.

Sun, Sand, Pristine Waters…and I wished for Love