scenes.moments.life.living

Posts tagged ‘life’

A Great Year That Was…

2011 is nearing its end and it’s fitting to say “Thank You” for such wonders and greatness this year gave me and my family. Looking back, 2011 has been a great roller coaster ride, of a lot of new things, of giving happiness to the one’s I love, investments I made, countries I visited and will continue to visit, of equal pains and emptiness.

As I move to a greater year this 2012, I can honestly say that I managed to grow up this year. I managed to be more grounded yet not so wise spender hehe.

I look forward to a more Blessed 2012, a greater year, another meaningful year.

Here’s my big “thanks” to 2011 and my gleeful cheers to 2012

Happy New year Everyone!

For [J]

For because I am missing you…

A Year Without Rain

Oooooh
Can you feel me when I think about you?
With every breath I take
Every minute, no matter what I do
My world is an empty place

Like I’ve been wondering the desert
For a thousand days
Don’t know if it’s a mirage
But I always see your face, baby

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

The stars are burning
I hear your voice in my mind
Can’t you hear me calling
My heart is yearning
Like the ocean that’s running dry
Catch me I’m falling

It’s like the ground is crumbling underneath my feet
(Won’t you save me)
There’s gonna be a monsoon
When you get back to me

Oh, baby

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

So let this drought come to an end
And make this desert flower again
I’m so glad you found me
Stick around me
Baby, baby, baby, oh
It’s a world of wonder with you in my life
So hurry, baby
Don’t waste no more time
And I need you here
I can’t explain
But day without you
is like a year without rain
Ooh

I’m missing you so much
Can’t help it, I’m in love
A day without you is like a year without rain
I need you by my side
Don’t know how I’ll survive
A day without you is like a year without rain
Ooh, woooaaahh woaahh

Could he be…the ONE?

We all heard of stories of finding one’s perfect match. Most often than not, we are envious from those stories and wanting is a mixture of emotions. On the other hand there are stories of hoping, of tireless waiting or losing hope to which our sympathy pours complete with morale boosting kind words. I am writing now because I can’t contain it, I am starting to like someone.

[J] born 5 years and 5 days ahead of me under the same stubborn star. A self made man. Grounded and emotionally stable. From the past days that we’ve been exchanging SMS and calls, we both realized that being born under the same star makes most aspects of our lives the same, is that good or bad? Neither of us can tell.

From one conversation we found out that we share the same reasons on why we stay single for the longest time and how we promised ourselves that whenever the “one” comes along, we will do our best to make it the “last”. I can’t help but assume and hope, [J] is the reason why I keep on checking my phone for new SMS or why I wanted to go home earlier (than usual) these days because that’s the time we would catch up on the day that just passed.

Now am scared to move forward, to loosen up my guards and to slowly give in to this “blissful emotion”. A friend of mine who serves as my confidante told me that what I am trying to do is wrong because I am trying to alter nature’s course for selfish reason – I don’t want to fall and be hurt at the end.

I look forward to sharing more colourful stories of me and [J]. Fingers crossed, heart beating fast, world’s of various shades and colors…could [J] be the ONE for ME?

The Ride and The Girl

Just got here in my office room and am thinking what had just happened.

The day started without any cab that will take me from Manila to Ortigas. I was like waiting for good 30 minutes then I decided to hail a jeepney to the FX terminal. Upon reaching the terminal, an empty FX is on its way out heading to Ortigas and will just take its chance picking passengers en route. I took the front seat and I was followed by a lady lets call her “the girl”.

Normally I just take a nap whenever am traveling but this time, this girl (YES, G-I-R-L!) got my attention. She’s fine, good build, chinita and bears the sweetest smile I haven’t seen in years (from a girl, I repeat from a girl…from who? huwaaaaat???). I caught myself staring at her (thank you to my eye shades, I think she didn’t noticed me staring at her). I hurriedly sent an SMS to my buddies telling them the scenario I was in earlier, and all of them were frantic on what I should do or my next move and of course a lot of teasing…magbabalik loob na daw ako finally. I entertained the thought and I told one of my friends that I think I would consider going to the “matuwid na landas” if she will be with me. Seriously, natorpe ako sa kanya, heck I cannot start a conversation, damn I don’t know how to, its been years since I was with a girl!!! Panic mode ON. But the persistent guy in me wanted to know her and probably invite her for a quick coffee.

Thank you to manong driver who asked something which opened up “the” conversation. I managed to ask her few things, basics, and I was about to alight the FX when she mentioned that she don’t know where to get off because it was her first time taking the FX on her way to work. Ting! Here’s my chance! So I told her that I’ll join her to where she should alight and I know for a fact that my friendly Starbucks store is exactly besides her building. Ayos! I told manong driver to drop us in front of the building and as we went off the FX, I immediately went to her side and drop my line “mind if I ask you to grab some coffee?” then she took a quick glance to her wrist watch and said “I have a ten o’clock meeting”. I thought that was the end until she said “but sure, a quick coffee will still be fine” Ayos!. Before we reach the entrance of the store I managed to ask her name and shook her hand, gawd I was shaking…parang high school lang! We had a quick conversation in between orders until we decided to partway. My bad, I know I should’ve asked her if I can join her for walk to her building pero nahiya ako. Maybe next time.

I dunno what happened, seriously. But one thing I am sure of, I like her the moment I saw her.

There goes the guy in me.

Inside Your Heaven

Hold your horses first, though the title connotes a lot of things, this post contain my latest realization.

I’ve been down
Now I’m blessed
I felt a revelation coming around
I guess its right, it’s so amazing
Everytime I see you I’m alive
You’re all I’ve got
You lift me up
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows your way
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathin’ in
A soothin’ wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When we touch, when we love
The stars light up
The wrong becomes undone
Naturally, my soul surrenders
The sun and the moonlight
All my dreams are in your eyes

And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
And I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathing in
A soothing wind
I wanna be inside your heaven

When minutes turn to days and years
If mountains fall, I’ll still be here
Holdin you until the day I die
And I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away

I wanna be inside your heaven
Take me to the place you cry from
Where the storm blows you away
I wanna be the earth that holds you
Every bit of air you’re breathin’ in
A soothin’ wind
I wanna be inside your heaven
Oh yes I do
I wanna be inside your heaven

Couple of days ago, I finally met this dad of one whom I got connected with through an SNS. It was such a wonderful meet up; he invited me to his place very near my work place and he shared a chapter of his life to me – a stranger.

The meet up started with the basic gestures: hand shakes, smile and basic questions about life, what we do, among other stuff. He’s a drop dead gorgeous dad in his late 20’s, I believe he grew up down under to where his daughter now stays with his parents. To me he’s someone that every PLUs will definitely fight just to be him, as I told my friend “he’s artista-ish good looking and mukang sa kanya bibigay ako”. After all my personal admiration, he started to tell his story…

Like most of us, he is used to meet ups and knows the game very well. But this particular guy caught him unguarded probably because they shared a life changing moment together within the first few meet ups which ended them having a pseudo relationship with a CATCH. The other guy’s in a one year relationship with a mid-life executive. Their relationship went to where it should go, they passed through “meet the family” stage wherein they can both tell that my friend is more favoured by the family than the other guy which apparently haven’t gone through that stage yet. Everything’s seemingly OK until an incident which led the guy to tell my friend that he realized that he loves the mid-life guy more than my new friend. Ouch.

At that moment, I managed to rub his back to console him, I can still feel the pain  through his eyes and how his aura changed when we came to that part of his story. Then I realized, that even if you are “drop dead” gorgeous and seemingly perfect and all, you still experience things that less fortunate PLUs normally experience. Its not always butterflies and lilies for them pala; all the while I thought that people like him always gets what he wants and all-time happy.

It is true, All Is Fair in Love and War.

Note: The relevance of the song and the title? Its another realization, actually meeting him is like a prize for me because I was not expecting him to be interested in meeting me to begin with…sabi ko nga sa kaibigan ko “he’s the person na pwede ko lang tignan pero hindi pwedeng hawakan, pwedeng pangarapin pero hindi ko makakamit” (very low disposition)

ii. From BED to someone else’s Bed

I was alone last Friday night when I decided to hit BED (Manila) after having coffee with a friend somewhere in UN. I am a member of this SNS and I received an invite from BED that there will be an exclusive party for the members which gave me more than enough reason to go there: free entrance + SNS members = fun!

Since I came there thirty minutes before show time (started 12:00am), I immediately ordered my usual (Absolute + Sprite) and lit a cig. I was on the phone the whole time talking to a new found friend convincing him to come over for company since I don’t want to be alone that night, well that’s my initial thought. Few cigs, few minutes, a second round when /he/ went to my spot to ask for “light”. Being mabait that I am, I obliged and handed him my lighter as I continue to do my stuff. /He/ went back to his friend and continued drinking.

The night’s getting boring so I decided to go downstairs to check on the show. Few were there already dancing together with the ledge dancers in white and I was just in one corner. Moments after, /he/ was beside me already and we are now exchanging basic information about ourselves. Both professional, single but not wanting (we thought so). We continued the night dancing, dinking, whispers, smoking and what have you.

I was about to call that I night when something in me (alcohol I guess) decided to join them as they took off the bar for some quick snack. While eating he asked me if I would like to come over his place, being the kaladkarin that I am, I obliged. So we head to his place in Makati…sneaking (all the while he thought that his dad was not around but we saw his car outside). Few chats and the next thing I know we were kissing, passionate, intense. We were into it that moment, our tools are of more or less equal proportions, just right fit to where it was that night (grin). We both came with a kiss and a promise of exploring potential “future” after. Well, as most of us, there’s no future after hook up. When pants zip up and tops buttoned, its Thank you and Good bye.

Same shit, different dog

I guess I am paying more than normal attention to this person lately. He told me that we met two years ago but seriously I can’t remember so we resulted to catching up back to basic details and to my surprise, during the getting-to-know course, I can say that he has the potential to be “him”. At such an early stage I know and feel that he’s the one who can keep me grounded. Things went by fast and before I know it, I am convinced that I am falling for him… until today.

Over BBM, I noticed that his status changes when I change mine and his new status is a response to my change of status. Until I changed my status and he changed his but his status is not a response to mine and I cant change my status because it says “For the unending grace, Lord, Thank You” which is related to the recent blessing that I received just this afternoon from work.

BBM
Him: (new status) Let’s be thankful…I don’t want to rush things…
Me: I noticed that we have been changing status quite frequent today…in response to your status “ I am afraid but thankful, walk with me”
Him: Yeah, but that’s not for you, if its for you, I will tell you directly…don’t get me wrong
Me: Oops sorry  but thanks for being upfront

I told the story to a friend and I asked him if I have to put a stop to this, I seem pretty excited about things lately and its because of “him” so why lose the momentum and enthusiasm. He advised me to instead ask him where I stand and so I did and…

Him: Were friends.

There you go. All hopes vanished to thin air; there goes my energy going down the drain. Same story, different guy.

Why is finding the right one so hard. One friend told “masyado mo kasi mahal ang trabaho mo”, I immediately corrected him saying that the reason why I devote too much time and energy to my job is that because I do not have that special someone to spend the rest of my time with. A diversion that is. I always tell this to everyone that I am building up something with, “I am hoping to find someone whom I could spend more time with, who could break the home-work-home routine of my life”.

At this point in time I am tired already, at some point I am envious of those people who may not be in the same shoe as mine (career wise, money wise, family wise) but at the end of the day, they’re guaranteed that they have someone who could share how they are, how the day went, how are things going with them etc.

I am not whining. I am just sad. I maybe frustrated. I am sure I am sad.